


letters for the one i love

by damniamgay



Series: Emily and Beca [15]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, its cute, thats GAY, they write letter guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-28 04:04:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18748663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damniamgay/pseuds/damniamgay
Summary: Emily decides to write Beca a letter explaining her feelings to her, Beca decides to write one back.





	letters for the one i love

**Author's Note:**

> im obsessed with the moomin soundtrack and it makes me ten times more emotional  
> also as y'all know i hardly ever proofread my work so if you spot anything let me know and i'll sort it out :D

Breathing in deeply to steady her nerves, Emily climbed the steps up to Beca’s room. She glanced down at the envelope in her hand as she reached the door. “This is stupid.” She whispered to herself. Why she even decided to write a letter was beyond her, but she knew if she never did or said anything she’d eventually make things between her and Beca weird and she would hate that much more than embarrassing herself through a letter. She don't even know why she decided on a letter, maybe she saw it in a rom-com and thought it was crazy romantic or she just liked the idea of letters coming back into fashion.

They were cool!

Taking another deep breath in, she knocked. “Hey, Beca. You in here?” She waited a few seconds and after hearing no movement inside she decided to go inside.

She’d always loved Beca’s room, the simplicity and minimalism of it just astounded her. It was decorated but barely, a few photos here and there, a few house plants and the occasional bit of wall art. But apart from that it was bare. Black and white. It was so classic, yet lovable. Emily smiled to herself as the sentiment reminded her of Beca and immediately remember her objective: put the envelope on Beca’s desk without moving anything.

Beca hated when something in her room was moved out of place, the only thing worse would be listening to one of her mixes before it was finished. Emily gasped at even the thought of it.

She blinked slowly and stared at the envelope in her shaking hands, “Come on, Junk. It’s about time you told her.” Breathing in, she placed the envelope delicately on top of her laptop. She sidestepped out of the room and as soon as she clicked the door shut she let out the breath she was holding in.

“Well, I can’t get that back now. So, it’s done.” Emily said to herself before jogging down the stairs and back into her room so she can overthink every little thing she wrote in that letter.

 

 

Beca wouldn’t say she was late back. But she was late back.

It wasn’t her fault that she got held up at her job because her stupid boss made everyone run laps of the office until they came up with a worthy idea.

Aubrey was pissed though, she’d only been back for a few months after Chloe invited her to stay a little while.

“Jesus, I said I’m sorry! Can I go back to my room now?” Beca said rubbing her temples, really just wanting to crash for the night.

“You missed the Bellas bonding night, it’s almost like you don’t care about us anymore.  Actually, I think that is what this is.  You don’t give a shit, sorry that we wasted three years of your life so far, good luck getting them back.” Aubrey said, anger lacing her tone.

Beca flipped her off and climbed the stairs sighing as she did. She didn’t mean to be such a dickhead to Aubrey, but ever since she got a job and didn’t have many spare moments to spend with the Bellas, Aubrey had been at her neck.

And, to be frank, it was exhausting.

Granted, she hadn’t been spending as much time as she should with everyone but they’ve been together for so long that she didn’t feel the need for her Friday nights to be spent chatting about boys or girls and gossiping about whatever happened during their classes that week.

She’d never admit that she agreed with Aubery or that she thought she was right. Think of what that’d do to her reputation.

Reaching her room finally, she could’ve cried at the sight of her bed. She’d dearly missed it after that uncalled-for cardio session and shouting match.

She plopped down onto her bed and just as she was getting comfortable, she noticed something resting on top of her laptop. Turning on her bedside lamp, she pulled off her boots and pottered towards her desk.

Her eyebrows crinkled at the thought of having to read a letter but her curiosity forced her to oblige anyway. She threw it onto her bed and got changed into a t-shirt and sweats.

Cosying up in her duvet, she ripped open the letter.

The neat handwriting was entrancing and almost poetic looking as she began to read.

 

_Dear Beca,_

_Hi._

_I have no clue what to write in letters but I thought I’d write one because who even writes letters anymore. Me, that’s who!_

Beca stopped reading to smile, “She’s such a fucking dork.”

_If we were doing this in person you’d probably smirk at me and call me a dork. Well, I am admitting I’m the biggest dork in existence and there’s nothing you can do to change that._

Beca shook her head, laughing lightly at Emily’s writing and traced her fingertips over how she wrote her name in her beautiful cursive.

_Okay, so the real reason why I’m writing this in a letter. I felt it’d be too hard to say what I am about to say in person because I’d hate for you to hate me in front of my face, so at least if you’re reading it and then you hate me it’s okay because I won’t know about it! Thinking about it though, I’m probably gonna be overthinking this whole letter so...yeah._

_As you and then rest of the Bellas are aware, me and Benji broke up over the summer and I wouldn’t tell anyone why. Well, Beca Mitchell. You, are that reason. I knew as soon as I met you I’d never be the same. I knew I’d need you, yet I didn’t know what for. You were an amazing friend to me, you helped me release my first single and you put up with me when nobody else would. And not to mention you let me cuddle up to you and brought me ice cream and chocolates when I wouldn’t stop crying over my failed relationship with Benji._

_I still swear I’ll never tell anyone that your favourite Disney princess is Mulan-or even that you binge watched as many Disney films as we could fit in a day with me._

     “She best keep that promise.” Beca whispered to herself while smirking and reminiscing about that day, sighing in contentment.

_Truth is, I loved him. But not as much as I love you. And nowhere near in the same way that I like you Beca._

_I loved the idea of Benji, someone to match my silliness, someone who’s so bubbly that we’d never be in silence together._

_But you, you Beca are something else._

_Around you, I feel like a completely different person. Around you, I feel free and safe and myself. And I love that. I love that you help me in more ways than you’ll ever know. I love that you’re so precious about your music and I love how you always call me a dork when I’ve done something stupid. And I love how you hug me or how your touches feel like tiny lightning bolts on my skin or how you’re so careful with your words and how you care so deeply._

_And I know, I know you won’t feel the same. And oh my stars, I don’t even know if you like girls and I don’t even know if I’m ever gonna give you this letter. But it’s okay. It’s okay if you hate me._

_It’s okay if you can’t bear to look at me cause of how weird I’ve made our relationship. It’s alright cause at least I’m honest. You would’ve found out at some point so this is me telling you. Well, two things actually. That I am hopelessly and endlessly in love with you and that I am well honestly very gay (pan actually, put y’know it doesn’t work as well). I hope you understand._

_Yours,_

_Emily_

 

Beca dropped the letter and stared forward for a few seconds, absorbing everything she’d just read. She reread it just in case it was all some horrible prank or just suddenly forgot how to read in the past ten minutes. “Shit.”

She picked her phone up from her bedside table and opened the messages app, her thumb instinctively going to press on Emily’s contact. Her head shook and she lowered her thumb deciding to tap on Chloe instead.

She drafted out a message not sure whether she needed the encouragement from her best friend or if she needed someone else to look through the letter to make sure it was legitimate.

**Beca: Are you in your room?**

Beca waited, chewing nervously on her thumbnail waiting for the reply. It came back in a few seconds.

**Chloe: Yeah, why?**

**Beca: I’m coming in**

Beca pattered her way downstairs to Chloe’s room, remembering to bring the letter with her. She didn’t bother knocking on Chloe’s door, knowing that her text was sufficient enough to make Chloe panic enough to not care if she barged in or not.

“Hey.” Beca said, plopping herself down on Chloe’s bed.

“What’s up?” Chloe asked, shuffling to face Beca and so she could sit crossed-legged.

“I got this.” She held up the letter and handed it over to Chloe, her own face still trying to compute what this all meant and what her next actions should be.

“Oh damn.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, damn!” Chloe repeated.

“Yeah.”

“What are you gonna do?” Chloe asked handing the letter back to Beca which seemed to snap her back into reality.

“I’m not sure. I thought you’d know, you’re all about that lovey-dovey crap.” Beca wafted absentmindedly with her hand.

“You could always go to her room and profess your love, or go see her in the morning?” Chloe tried, thinking it over seriously. “I honestly, didn’t expect this.”

Beca nodded, “Me neither, I mean it goes without saying but if you tell anyone about any of this I will stab you.”

Chloe pulled Beca into a tight hug, “Yeah, yeah. I know. Anyway, I’m tired and as much as I love spending girl time with you. I need my beauty sleep otherwise I wake up looking like Fiona.” Beca smirked, “The ogre version, yes.” Chloe finished for her.

Looking proud of herself, Beca got up and folded the letter and placed it carefully in her pocket, “Thanks a lot, Chloe.”

“Don’t mention it babe, now go get the girl and tell me about it in the morning.” She winked at Beca as she left before giggling silently to herself.

Beca strode back to her bedroom with a new-found confidence, her chat with Chloe couldn’t exactly be called ‘helpful’ but it did give her an excellent idea.

She sat down at her desk and pushed her laptop to the side, she pulled out her barely used notebook and scribbled down a letter in response to Emily.

 

_Dear Emily,_

_I would agree with you that writing letters is weird. It’s time consuming and full of effort. Maybe that’s just the fact that I’m writing this at 1am and I’m so tired but couldn’t get you or your letter off my mind. But I guess that’s how you know someone cares. They’ve painstakingly picked the perfect words and sentences and no doubt had to start over a few times due to errors made or sentences that you couldn’t possibly leave there for whatever reason._

_And never did I think, you of all people would write me one. And never did I think that I’d write one back._

_You guessed right, by the way. I did call you a dork and I am thankful you finally accept that you’re one._

    Beca bit her lip before she continued, deciding risking it all was worth it. She knew it’d work out in the end, whatever happened. Her eyes flickered between her letter and Emily’s, a grin growing wider when reading a few sentences. She spun the pen in her fingers and began writing once again.

_You didn’t need to tell me why you and Benji broke up, you didn’t need to explain. But I appreciate that you did. I loved spending all that time with you and I wish I wasn’t so awkward or gross about people and could admit that to your face._

_I guess letters are freeing in that respect._

_I loved curling up to you when it was late at night and we’d binged movies or tv shows the whole day. I loved when you held me until we both fell asleep. I loved that day when you woke up a little earlier than usual to make me pancakes (I will try and forget that you almost burnt the kitchen down, but it was very cute seeing you panicked and flustered)._

    Beca smiled fondly at the memory of Emily entering her room once again to shake her awake. An uncomfortable and awkward smile plastered across her face immediately worried Beca and even more so when she grabbed Beca’s hand and pulled her downstairs to see the smoke rising from the stovetop. “Idiot.” Beca shook her head and smiled and sighed deeply.

_You also best keep that secret that Mulan is my favourite and I promise to guard the fact that your first crush was on Elasta-girl from The Incredibles._

_Fun fact: I’m bi, have been for a while. Jesse was my first boyfriend and we both know how well that worked out._

_Mulan is only my favourite because knowing that a woman killed multiple men when just trying to become equal, a cinematic masterpiece truly. (Imagine me chef kissing please)_

_And I’ve liked you for a while. I took a gamble on the fact that my boss might like your song, there’s no doubt I did. It was amazing and beautiful and I love your voice. But I was scared he’d deny it and I wouldn’t make you happy. I wanted to be that source of happiness for you. I wanted to help you and share your successes with you cause honestly, I don’t think I want to live my life without you in it. I would’ve told you sooner if I was so scared of losing you or so scared of fucking up or embarrassing myself. I would’ve said sooner if I knew everything you just told me in that letter. I could never hate you, I could only love you too much that it scares me._

_And I guess this is why letters are better than in person, they’re more personal, more romantic._

_When you get this, write me back._

_-Beca_

 

Beca nodded and slotted it back into the envelope that Emily used, bewildered at the fact that she even owned an envelope. She scribbled out the neat ‘Beca’ inscribed on the front and scrawled ‘Emily’ in its place.

She stood and pattered her way down to Emily’s room. Placing the envelope delicately on the floor in front of the door, she contemplated knocking. “Fuck it.” She whispered and knocked three times before scurrying back upstairs.

 

The next day Beca was avoiding Emily like the plague. She hated confronting her feelings and everything to do with Emily involved that.

It wasn’t until she got a text from Emily, that she realised she was actually going to have to talk to her.

**Emily: Hey**

“Shit.”

**Beca: Hi**

Three dots appeared and Beca physically felt her heart beat faster and now needed to throw up, which was helpful and a lovely thought.

**Emily: Can we talk?**

**Beca: We’re talking now**

**Emily: You know what I mean, can you come to my room? I can come to yours if you’d prefer.**

**Beca: I’ll be down in five.**

“Shit.”

 

After waiting exactly five minutes, she ventured downstairs and donned a brave smirk before knocking on Emily’s door.

“Hey...” Emily said, clinging to the door frame, pulling it just wide enough for Beca to squeeze through.

“So, the letters?” Beca asked, sitting down on Emily’s bed as casually as she could muster.

“Yes, the letters.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, refusing to make eye contact and making it ultimately weirder than either of them could imagine. Eventually both of them opened their mouths to speak, “Go on.” Beca insisted and even going to nudge Emily’s knee with her hand.

“No, you go.”

Beca shook her head with a smirk.

“I just, I don’t know. Did you mean everything you wrote in that letter? That you like me as well, how could like me? I don’t get it, I’m just so tall and lanky and kinda gross. And you totally could’ve just used my song to get your boss to like you- “

Beca cut her off. She leant forward, courage and adrenaline taking over. Her right hand rested on Emily’s knee so she could lean further forward. Her lips gently touched Emily’s and faintly ghosted them. She felt Emily clasp a hand onto her cheek and pull her closer to her. She gasped at Emily pulling her tight to her body and felt them part each other a few seconds after.

Beca rested her forehead on Emily’s, “Sorry, you were rambling. And of course, I like you, you’re amazingly beautiful, you’re kind and caring, you’re so smart and you’re always there for me when I need you.”

Emily blushed at Beca’s speech, “Now look who’s rambling.”

Emily closed the gap between them, kissing her slowly and carefully as if she were to break. She poured every ounce of passion and love as she could manage into that kiss and when she pulled away, she saw the deep red of Beca’s cheeks and giggled.

“You’re so cute.” Emily laughed out.

Beca hid her face in Emily’s shoulder, “Shut up, dork.”

Emily giggled once more and pulled Beca away from her shoulder, "So..."

Beca rubbed Emily's knee absently, "Do you wanna be my girlfriend or do I need to write you another letter?" 

She smirked largely and leant closer to Emily, Emily leant in also their faces almost touching. "Another letter would be nice." Beca smiled and Emily kissed her gently eventually smiling widely also. 

"I'll write you a letter soon."

"Promise."

"Of course."

**Author's Note:**

> i cried writing the letters cause im an emotional mess. anyway, thanks for reading! comments and kudos and very appreciated and if you have any prompts you want me to write be sure to send them to tumblr: @damniamgay


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